Humour Shortage Devastates Blogosphere!

The blogosphere has been hit by a humour shortage following an influx of blogs secretly funded by major corporations to boost the poor public images of companies such as Wal-Mart. Comments on social media are also becoming increasingly dry as a result of PR driven astroturfing campaigns and spam comments designed to boost the search engine rankings of commercial websites. Research indicates that the blogosphere is now 67% less humorous than it was 5 years ago and the situation is getting worse.
Mister Trippy can confirm that this blog has been inundated with astroturf and spam comments in recent weeks.
Supplies of jokes, one-liners and humorous ripostes are running low as UK based blogs attempt to ward off the cavalcade of corporate crap brought together under the aegis of the London 2012 Olympics. This week London bloggers appealed to independent media producers and the public for help.
Avant-garde pornographer and blogger Stewart Home told one of his other 665 schizophrenic multiple personalities: “The wet weather has meant we are running out of jokes. Traditionally London has an over production of humorous blogs but the continuous rain we’ve suffered over the previous three months has prevented many local bloggers from getting into the kind of social situations that might be mined for their humour.”
“It is sunny now and I’m enjoying seeing lots of people (and especially thrity-something women AKA MILF) in skimpy outfits – but the hot weather has only been with us for a couple of days and is not expected to last into the weekend.”
“The lack of opportunity to flirt and engage in other types of social banter has been a huge drain on my ability to generate fresh jokes and I am hoping people from outside London will help me make up the shortfall by leaving witty comments on my blogs; as well as by sending me examples of their home porn.”
“Donations of jokes, one-liners and humorous ripostes are gratefully appreciated and can be left as comments below this post. Women aged 21 and over can contact me through the web mail form on my site to arrange ways in which I might view their home porn.”
According to new figures released this week, Mister Trippy has seen a 52 per cent increase in the number of jokes he cracks online over the past three years. A large number of the these gags are sexual in nature and require social interaction to inspire them.
Tessie Talk (another of Mister Trippy’s multiple personalities) added: “Humour is the only sane response to an insane capitalist world – without it even more people would be cracking up..”
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by Charles Forte on 2012-07-24 18:20:32 +0000

Q. What do you call spam comments promoting a posh restaurant?
A. Gastroturf.

Comment by Justin Sayings (@JustinSayings) on 2012-07-24 20:16:03 +0000

Bend it like Beckett:

Comment by Eric “The Animal” Burden on 2012-07-24 21:09:28 +0000

Q. Why did Neville Thurlbeck cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to jerk off on the other side.

Comment by Hugh Mulhall on 2012-07-24 21:38:15 +0000

It wasn’t till they started insisting all these out of work teachers become alternative comedians that the quandery of being a millionaire and having a social concious impinged itself upon the lives of the middle classes – must the serious art of comedy be forced to serve where the catholic church has failed in the country ; discuss etc

Comment by Jenna Jameson on 2012-07-24 23:04:15 +0000

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.
Then she said: (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”

Comment by Owen Gibson on 2012-07-24 23:39:56 +0000

Which story has been the most damaging to the reputation of Olympic organisers in recent months? Not missiles atop blocks of flats, or technical difficulties with the frustrating ticketing website, nor the long running Olympic stadium legacy saga. No, the most humiliating is a diary item that has gained a life of its own – that organisers approached the late Keith Moon to appear at the opening ceremony. The embarrassing approach to The Who’s hell-raising drummer, who died in 1978, has been reported around the world and confirmed not only by the band’s management but by lead singer Roger Daltrey.

Comment by Porky Harwood on 2012-07-24 23:57:53 +0000

Ever heard of heavy breather conference calls? They’ve long been big among bankers, erm I mean wankers, but then bankers are wankers….

Comment by Fats Armitage on 2012-07-25 12:41:15 +0000

A man was brought before the judge and charged with Necrophilia. The judge said to the man:
“In the 20 years on the bench, I’ve never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn’t lock you up and throw away the key!”
The man replied, “I’ll give you THREE good reasons: first of all, it’s none of your damn business… second of all, she was my wife… and third of all, I didn’t KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way in bed!”

Comment by Ray Wood on 2012-07-25 13:35:12 +0000

The teacher asked Johnny to use the word ” definitely ” in a sentence.
Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?”
The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny,”
To which Johnny replies, “Then I have definitely shat myself,”.

Comment by John Ferris on 2012-07-25 15:12:01 +0000

Why don’t sharks attack bankers? Professional courtesy.

Comment by Geoff Birt on 2012-07-25 15:48:23 +0000

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ”Oh, we haven’t got any condoms. I’ll ring down to room service.” He calls and asks for some condoms.
The woman says, ”OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?”
”No,” he says, ”I’ll suffocate!”

Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-07-25 16:24:06 +0000

Laughter strips kings naked – and skins the kings without any clothes. But you have to watch it; all kinds of reactionary tossers insist on the importance of a sense of humour. There’s also that peculiar English disease whereby the nation deludes itself that we have a better sense of humour than any other country – see poor humourless Belgians et al. In this sense ‘humour is an over-rated virtue’, as Luke Haines sings… More often than not it’s also a psychic-release mechanism, at best shocking rather than mortally rocking the status-quo. That said, here’s a joke Damien Hirst told me:
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.

Comment by Christopher Nosnibor on 2012-07-25 16:33:37 +0000

Is this supposed to be funny?

Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-07-25 18:24:27 +0000

Great comedians make you laugh but they never tell jokes – they leave those to the funny man and his echo.

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-07-25 22:02:58 +0000

Agreed! And Chris the corporate control of Web 2.0 is a serious thing- the blog post above is defiinitely NOT meant to be funny!

Comment by Curtis Small on 2012-07-25 23:27:56 +0000

Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10.
And, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20 for a monkey.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so small that it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35, and when the man returns from the City, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how Wall Street works!!

Comment by Susana Medina on 2012-07-25 23:38:18 +0000

Good to see Tessie invoked … I’m over 21 …

Comment by Jayne Mansfield on 2012-07-26 00:20:34 +0000

I’m over 21 and I’m dead – what more could you want?

Comment by PIP on 2012-07-26 01:04:44 +0000

Exploding boob jobs – is that a joke?

Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-07-26 07:24:46 +0000

How Lolo (Ferrari) can you sink?

Comment by Jayne Mansfield on 2012-07-26 14:13:19 +0000

6 feet under and sinking!

Comment by The Man in the Iron Mask on 2012-07-26 17:39:25 +0000

Poor Lolo – with more silicon and bigger tits she might have stayed afloat. She was the victim of bad advice from her management. Was she cremated? If not what shape was and size was the casket?

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-07-29 14:19:12 +0000

I said in reply to this something about Chesty Morgan AKA Double Agent 73 not eating her heart out over this – Chesty it is said had no enhancement… But it is another lost comment from the server going down and stuff not being backed up after early evening on 26 July 2012….

Comment by Michael Roth on 2012-07-30 06:03:18 +0000

The Olympics are far too serious a matter to be taken lightly. I am deeply offended that this blog has not fallen in line and supported this modern tribute to excellence. I personally have not seen any Olympic events on TV so far, but I have watched hours of wonderful commercials. So I say good day to you, sir. I said Good Day!

Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-07-30 13:05:11 +0000

And the winner is the Big Mac, Visa has secured silver and Coca-Cola gets the bronze booby prize….

Comment by Lucy Johnson on 2012-08-01 05:36:00 +0000

You are all heart!

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