There are many ways to make yourself stand out online and one of them is to do things in the worst or most boring way possible. Since this blog is mainly an outta sight groove sensation I figured a few really boring posts would draw both interest and attention to how good most of what I put up here actually is! And obviously the best place to start when aiming for ennui is with something that is not only dull but also frustrates us all – such as supermarket stock control.
Like many people I get my shopping in a number of outlets in order to obtain everything at the cheapest possible price. Now Waitrose isn’t a store I buy that much in but I do dig the Village Bakery Rossisky Organic Rye loaf they stock (made without wheat and with no added bakers yeast) – which is way better than the crummy packaged slices of rye bread stocked by the likes of Tesco and Sainsburys. To achieve best value I get the 800g rather than the 400g Rossisky rye loaf. However, at least half the times I go to buy one of these, Waitrose are sold out of the large and only have the smaller loaf. Which means going back again to get the bread later. Likewise, right now Waitrose have Lavazza coffee on offer so it is the cheapest place to buy it – if they have any in stock, because unfortunately whenever Waitrose have anything on offer it is usually cleared off the shelves when I go to look for it.
Tesco rarely have the non-dairy brands of milk I want in stock regardless of whether they are on offer or not. And that shouldn’t be a problem right now because Alpro Soya Milk is on offer in Waitrose. Unfortunately but unsurprisingly when I went into a Waitrose a couple of hours ago all the on special offer soya milk had gone. I could run through all the different supermarkets I use and how they fail me in terms of stock control but I won’t (that would take us way beyond most people’s boredom threshold). The grocery chain that rarely lets me down is Farm Foods but then there’s really only one thing I get there – Nicky bog roll (the best value toilet paper on the market – 18 generous rolls for £4). The problem with Farm Foods is, of course, they have no stores anywhere near the centre of London – the closest is in Walthamstow, doh!
So there you have it, supermarket stock control not only effects our lives it is also quite possibly the most boring subject you could pick to blog about. Of course I could continue with this subject for thousands more words – but that really would be too much!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!
Comment by Sid Snot on 2012-05-29 08:56:29 +0000
Comment by Steve on 2012-05-29 17:48:22 +0000
I like the concept of “non-diary” milk. Does that mean you never know when it’s due to go off?!
M&S Simply Foods in Crouch End – now *they* are fucking shit.
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-05-29 20:52:43 +0000
Strangely or not I never buy food in M&S because I’m never able to find anything there that I can’t find cheaper elsewhere….
Non-dairy milk does go off… but it can be kinda hard to tell so best to drink within a few days of opening… Not just soya based but also rice, it is nice to mix ’em around….The alternative is of course to get non-dairy milk powder and mix it up yourself….
Comment by Steve on 2012-05-29 20:59:09 +0000
Actually I was making a lame gag based on you mis-spelling “dairy” – which you’re still doing!
………… I’ll get me coat.
Comment by Steve on 2012-05-29 21:00:26 +0000
Can we pretend I said “I’ll get me goat”? Damn!
Comment by Guy Veale on 2012-05-29 21:31:19 +0000
nah, sorry – you’ve turned up a couple of pretty useful and interesting facts there that will most likely be beneficial to a huge number of readers / less thrifty individuals.
Comment by Alex Dipple on 2012-05-29 22:03:38 +0000
Your diet is so full of veg and roughage I often wonder how long 18 rolls of toilet paper actually does last you…? How many rolls do you leave in reserve before you make the round trip to Walthamstow… I’m guessing 2. God forbid stock levels should reduce in this sensitive area.
Comment by Thomas Wellls on 2012-05-29 22:40:40 +0000
Outrageous! I’ve read hundreds of blog posts that are more boring that this one! Your claim to have produced the most boring blog in the world is a flagrant lie!
Comment by The Man In The Moon on 2012-05-29 23:24:24 +0000
If you think your blog is boring you should try living up here, which is much more boring….
Comment by Martin Ripley on 2012-05-29 23:50:15 +0000
Comment by Frank Thomsom on 2012-05-30 16:13:50 +0000
No intellectual stimulation no comment!
Comment by Pete Callaghan on 2012-05-30 16:41:27 +0000
Boredom rules OK!
Comment by Unhappy Shopper on 2012-05-30 20:27:10 +0000
A nine pack of Nicky bog roll goes for £2.50 in Whitecross Street market. Rip-off!
Comment by Jamie Smith on 2012-05-30 22:50:15 +0000
Do you do anything but eat, shit, shop and sleep?
Comment by Martin Brown on 2012-05-30 23:37:53 +0000
You’re so boring you’re always boring me….
Comment by Karsten Harries on 2012-05-31 14:13:29 +0000
Kierkegaard calls boredom the demonic side of pantheism. Are you a Satanist?
Comment by David Meyer on 2012-05-31 15:26:37 +0000
You gotta be joking. I’ve experienced more boredom in whorehouses than on this blog.
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-05-31 16:23:15 +0000
@ Karsten Harries. Satanism is just an inversion of Christianity (it isn’t anti-Christian, it is an ‘alternative’ form of Christianity) and since I’m not a Christian I’m obviously not a Satanist…..
Comment by Chilled Out Yoga Chick on 2012-05-31 19:58:15 +0000
Boredom is too strong an emotion for me, I prefer indifference.
Comment by Christopher Nosnibor on 2012-05-31 21:45:55 +0000
Yes, but where can ou get the best deals on lentils?
I’m regretting not panic-buying salted peants now, having just found a receipt in one of my coats that showed I bought a 200g bag value peanuts from Tesco for 29p. They’re double that now! So while everyone’s making a big deal about the price of fuel, bread and so on, it’s price hikes like these that are really ratcheting up the cost of living… well, mine, anyway, ’cause I eat a lot of nuts. And lentils. They’re both really good alternative cources of protien for non meat eaters.
Comment by mistertrippy on 2012-05-31 22:23:26 +0000
I’d get lentils from whatever down market supermarket chain has them cheapest at the time… As for nuts in terms of value I think you’d do best with Alesto Nuts Royal from LIDL – nice mix of different nuts and they’re unsalted which is much better for you! And if you’re looking for other sources of protein then Holland and Barrett have huge tubs of Precision Engineered Whey Protein at half-price right now….
Comment by Maria Pérez-Pujazón on 2012-06-04 08:45:09 +0000
am I the only one that find supermarkets so amazing?? I guess…Buying clothes is the most horrible thing in the world, and places like Ikea are worse than hell. But boring for me is describing mountains, lakes, how many names of trees know most of people? and birds? they dont even sing city birds scream! besides choosing the right toilet paper is wisdom. I,ve learnt more from chineese shops than from art galleries, they,re not that different anyway. ok maybe I have to check that…:))