A shit-faced Scots scammer on the lam

I was in Glasgow over the weekend and the new arts buildings and galleries in Trongate look extremely impressive, but the area around it is one of most impoverished in Europe and there are junkies galore hustling on the streets. I went into T. J Hughes to acquire some discount shit and was hugely impressed by a very blatant shoplifting technique being used by one thieving prick. This particular skaghead chose a relatively expensive but discounted designer item and took it to the pay desk to ask for a refund. He was, of course, asked for the bill of sale he’d never acquired, and so picking up the leather handbag he announced his mother was waiting outside and he needed to get the receipt from her. The addict shot off into the street, while one of the two girls working the tills told the other that this showed why they needed a security guard on the door. Presumably the entire incident was covered by CCTV but to anyone watching that, it probably looked like the junkie had paid before walking out. One of the till girls lazily followed the shit-faced scammer out, but by the time she got to the doors he’d already disappeared. I’ve witnessed some blatant shoplifting in my time, but this really took the biscuit. Glasgow’s miles better!
And while you’re at it don’t forget to check – www.stewarthomesociety.org – you know it makes (no) sense!


Comment by Zen Master K on 2009-09-22 12:41:09 +0000

That was Judy in disguise with diamonds – and JSD is like so much more far out than LSD….

Comment by Howling Wizard,Shrieking Toad on 2009-09-22 13:15:15 +0000

“But certainly for the present age, which prefers the sign to the thing signified, the copy to the original, representation to reality, the appearance to the essence… illusion only is sacred, truth profane. Nay, sacredness is held to be enhanced in proportion as truth decreases and illusion increases, so that the highest degree of illusion comes to be the highest degree of sacredness.”
Feuerbach, The Essence of Christianity

Comment by Robert Greene on 2009-09-22 13:35:07 +0000

sounds like a trick to catch the old one….

Comment by M Hannah on 2009-09-22 14:07:29 +0000

bless those jakey Glaswegians…I’ve been on the receiving end in ‘customer service’ where the said skant buys the dress on the friday, wears it on the saturday (obviously gets into a fight) rips the seams, brings it back on Monday, says its faulty, shouts n swears at the till, the manager comes… and what you know the skant’s got her money back! Class? Totally hen.

Comment by Michael K on 2009-09-22 14:55:25 +0000

keep the grooves dirty and the needles clean – and make sure you belong to the local needle exchange scheme.

Comment by The Real Tessie on 2009-09-22 15:58:07 +0000

K, you’d better keep everything clean, especially the affairs, if you don’t want your nose busted and yo ass kicked out of the Big Blogger Flat!

Comment by Stan The Satanist on 2009-09-22 17:52:03 +0000

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Comment by Robin Goodfellow on 2009-09-22 19:25:26 +0000

Love is the Law. Love under Will.

Comment by A Sexy Social Worker on 2009-09-22 20:08:35 +0000

Maybe this ‘junkie’ simply wanted to express the feminine side of his personality by dancing around a handbag….

Comment by Headbutt Man on 2009-09-22 20:22:31 +0000

There’s two ways to get shitfaced and both are fun, but one is literal and the other is metaphorical. I prefer the former.

Comment by raymond anderson on 2009-09-22 21:21:37 +0000

the mix of art hipsters and commodity junkie zombies in the corner shop by the Trongate was really touching.. i came over all light fingered and gripped my purse

Comment by Far Out Fred on 2009-09-22 23:46:46 +0000

I love the lower depths!

Comment by Michael Roth on 2009-09-23 03:00:40 +0000

Hey Mr Trippy, that was me! If I would have seen you there, I would have stopped to say hi … and lifted some stuff for you to boot!

Comment by atr on 2009-09-23 08:34:07 +0000

We are the resistance! Are you ready to shoplift? Fuck the American government. Fuck the European governments too!

Comment by MC D out of Silent Eclipse on 2009-09-23 10:43:02 +0000

…yeah, for real. That little youth man wouldn’t have had to steal that handbag if the one world government of thieving Nazi cripples wasn’t engaging in a continual process of racist psychological enslavement! Government, piss off, parliament spin…

Comment by Howling Wizard,Shrieking Toad on 2009-09-23 15:50:36 +0000

HAPPY ARE those ages when the starry sky is the map of all possible paths — ages whose paths are illuminated by the light of the stars. Everything in such ages is new and yet familiar, full of adventure and yet their own. The world is wide and yet it is like a home, for the fire that burns in the soul is of the same essential nature as the stars; the world and the self, the light and the fire, are sharply distinct, yet they never become permanent strangers to one another, for fire is the soul of all light and all fire clothes itself in light. Thus each action of the soul becomes meaningful and rounded in this duality: complete in meaning — in sense — and complete for the senses; rounded because the soul rests within itself even while it acts; rounded because its action separates itself from it and, having become itself, finds a centre of its own and draws a closed circumference round itself. ‘Philosophy is really homesickness,’ says Novalis: ‘it is the urge to be at home everywhere.’
That is why philosophy, as a form of life or as that which determines the form and supplies the content of literary creation, is always a symptom of the rift between ‘inside’ and ‘ outside’, a sign of the essential difference between the self and the world, the incongruence of soul and deed. That is why the happy ages have no philosophy, or why (it comes to the same thing) all men in such ages are philosophers, sharing the utopian aim of every philosophy. For what is the task of true philosophy if not to draw that archetypal map? What is the problem of the transcendental locus if not to determine how every impulse which springs from the innermost depths is co-ordinated with a form that it is ignorant of, but that has been assigned to it from eternity and that must envelop it in liberating symbols? When this is so, passion is the way, predetermined by reason, towards complete self-being and from madness come enigmatic yet decipherable messages of a transcendental power, otherwise condemned to silence. There is not yet any interiority, for there is not yet any exterior, any ‘otherness’ for the soul. The soul goes out to seek adventure; it lives through adventures, but it does not know the real torment of seeking and the real danger of finding; such a soul never stakes itself; it does not yet know that it can lose itself, it never thinks of having to look for itself. Such an age is the age of the epic.

Comment by Christopher Nosnibor on 2009-09-23 18:32:45 +0000

Aye, heng es but they wee jakey precks an neds huv really goat the TWOCA act doon roon the Tron, aye.
Definitely better skills than the lift I observed in my local Spa last week when some tracksuit-wearing teenage tossbag walked in, picked up an appropriately-named grab-bag of Doritos and shoved them down the front of his trousers, then picked up a can of Coke which he took to the counter to pay for.
And hoorah for discounted shirt!

Comment by Old Rope on 2009-09-23 18:48:47 +0000

Stealing is a groove sensation!

Comment by Michael ‘Psience Friction’ K on 2009-09-26 10:46:25 +0000

Tessie, get off this blog and do your updates in the Big Blogger House Blog House Blog Page at http://www.welcometothebigbloggerhousebloghousewebsiteblogpage.com
(I realise it’s a bit of a mouthful over the phone which is why I hadn’t called you earlier)
If we’re ever to make cash from this living arrangement, I need action and plenty of it and not just in the gym room with Home (who by the way is great on barbells although I nearly broke my ankle when he fancied changing positions)

Comment by mistertrippy on 2009-09-26 11:59:43 +0000

Looks like the Big Blogger Flat webstie is down…. Oh we’ll just have to freak out hear… Just put the Commadores Machine Gun album on LOUD – great ablum, but some strange 70s ideas on there like the tune “Young Girls Are My Weakness”… Still you get onto the Gloria Jones contributions in the form of song writing and production after a bit… And the title cut is a killa!

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